Daddy Longlegs

Having been a second parent but not a dad for the last five years makes me an unusual watcher of films about fathering. Daddy Longlegs, directed by brothers Josh and Ben Safdie, is an autobiographical film about their incompetent and delinquent father, Lenny, who is played by Ronald Bronstein. I found myself constantly chagrined and irritated throughout the film, as I watched the hopelessly narcissistic and negligent dad attempt to parent his kids for 2 weeks out of the year. As is often the case, the single father is represented as the absolutely magical vessel for FUN, while he simultaneously fails to create all the most basic structures and boundaries that are foundational to a happy childhood. The Safdie brothers and Ronald Bronstein were extremely defensive of any gender based readings of their film in the Q&A that followed the screening, but Emily and I could not find any other useful lens through which to interpret the film. It was terribly problematic in its "vilification" of the mother as an older, less attractive bitchier version of Lenny's girlfriend, despite the Safdie brothers' vehement denial of any such negative characterization of their mother. Overall, the three of them were shockingly bad at discussing the film and the questions that came up in the sense that they seemed really offended and unable to really engage with any of the questions that any of us had, probably as a result of it being such a personal project. In a certain light, the film is about custody, which has become an increasingly loaded and hot button issue (eg., the Fathers' rights movement). From another angle, it's about lionizing and romanticizing a selfish and inept father figure. Either way, it's a self-referential, insular aggrandizement of a tired brand of masculinity and paternity.